The Latest
Drained
Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you’re alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.
90s techno. oh yeaahhh
Dj Mystik- Moonlight Shadow
Ambitious Girl | Wale
I still feel this way…
After experiencing intense intellectual, emotional, and physical strain, I am finally comforted by the stillness of a silent, dimly-lit room…left alone to indulge in unspoken thoughts. I feel unbroken, nearly whole, yet I still try to gather tattered fragments of what once represented the man I wished to be. I try to think…but Bonnie Raitt’s “I can’t make you love me” painfully haunts my thoughts. I will lay down my heart, and i’ll feel the power…but you won’t.
I traveled thousands of miles not to search for some supposed name or farfetched dream; I merely hoped to unravel the mystery of me. Yet, after months of walking on a frail foundation without the comfort of a guiding hand, I am left alone in this dark room…accompanied only by a flickering light and Ms Raitt’s haunting voice … “just hold me close and don’t patronize…don’t patronize”. Beliefs I once held strongly have been shaken…questioned…proven to be not quite enough. I stare at my cloudy mirror only to question my purpose.
Although consumed by uncertainty, I still smile. There is something comical and hopeful in that unknowing, confused reflection. I don’t know who I am, where i’m going, what i’m doing…but I know I cry…I bleed…I love. and regardless of what happens, I will be ok.
