I still feel this way…
After experiencing intense intellectual, emotional, and physical strain, I am finally comforted by the stillness of a silent, dimly-lit room…left alone to indulge in unspoken thoughts. I feel unbroken, nearly whole, yet I still try to gather tattered fragments of what once represented the man I wished to be. I try to think…but Bonnie Raitt’s “I can’t make you love me” painfully haunts my thoughts. I will lay down my heart, and i’ll feel the power…but you won’t.
I traveled thousands of miles not to search for some supposed name or farfetched dream; I merely hoped to unravel the mystery of me. Yet, after months of walking on a frail foundation without the comfort of a guiding hand, I am left alone in this dark room…accompanied only by a flickering light and Ms Raitt’s haunting voice … “just hold me close and don’t patronize…don’t patronize”. Beliefs I once held strongly have been shaken…questioned…proven to be not quite enough. I stare at my cloudy mirror only to question my purpose.
Although consumed by uncertainty, I still smile. There is something comical and hopeful in that unknowing, confused reflection. I don’t know who I am, where i’m going, what i’m doing…but I know I cry…I bleed…I love. and regardless of what happens, I will be ok.
Mr.Probz - Waves
Slowly drifting away.
I gave my everything.
For all the wrong things.
"It’s natural to try to hide the sinister facets of ourselves from the people we care about, but to ever truly share a life with another person, that dark side needs to make its way out into the open."